Again, as I felt the pull to Critical Ethnography, I reminded myself that this research style might make a fantastic journal article when I have more experience and less naiveté. The paradox of participant as observer was crystal clear to me, and reminded me of stories of detectives or laymen who infiltrate a group to uncover or prove something, but instead get caught up in the community and lose sight of their original purpose. I was interested in learning more about autoethnography, especially as I kept a journal from before the start of the pandemic lock-down in 2020. The start of my PhD journal also captures my experiences as a middle school teacher who transitioned to online instruction, hybrid teaching, and back to face-to-face full time. There have been other nuanced shifts and I have recorded my expectations, reactions, observations, and kept documents issued by the government and my employer. Reading about ethnography helps me to understand that to write in this way is to stand apart from my journal and self to bridge the etic and emic perspective. This is the “step back, think, and write about” what is found (Blair, H., Filipek, J, et al, 2011).

Blair et al’s (2011) article and the text’s suggestions about field notes reassured me that a skill that I have honed as a classroom teacher will be an asset in ethnographic research. I constantly make notes on my learners. My academic subjects are all integrated and I feel that my assessments should be, too. These quick, covert notes are unobtrusive and detailed enough to prompt me to record more detail at the end of the day.

Blair’ et al’s (2011) readers theatre was an interesting format, but one of the critical sections for me that sums up my overwhelmed state was the mention of how difficult it is to navigate the researcher’s position in ethnographic research. I extend that confusion to many methods within Qualitative Research. I think that one of the struggles for researchers, especially those locked in positivist mindsets, is that many qualitative methodologies allow for overlap in ontological, epistemological, and axiological approaches. Kress’ (2011) article questioning multimodality and ethnography does a great job of highlighting the need for flexible approaches, given the many fields in which qualitative research occurs. I note that research nursing and education are often tagged similarly and database searches often yield a balance from both of these fields. When I think about the vulnerable populations both of these professions serve, these similarities in research methods makes a lot of sense.